Guatemala, like much of latin america, is well aquainted with the message of Christ and the culture embraces it with both arms. There is no violation of culture to speak openly about the gospel. This is similarly true in the States. There has never been a question for me whether or not to live the gospel openly.
With our thoughts moving toward living in Jordan this conflict of heart becomes more clear. It is perfectly legal to live in Jordan as a Christian as long as you don't proclaim the gospel or try to convert muslims. This is where the legal line is crossed. I have been hearing from a couple Christians in Jordan to live a quiet and honorable life there and as people ask about why you are there and about your life you can explain the Gospel to them. I see a Biblical example of this in Daniel. I understand the need for this sort of Cultural sensitivity in order to show respect and gain the favor of the people and rectifying stereotypes of American Christians.
My struggle is that I also read the book of Acts. There, whenever the Spirit came on them, they spoke "with boldness". I find that the situation in Acts is most applicable to the Middle East because the culture of the people is still similar and the policital climate against Christianity is similar. It was illegal for them to "preach" yet they still were "compelled" to do it and they DID spend time in jail and many died.
"My case is different though" I tell myself, I have a wife and four small children to consider and the scripture says that being married, my "interests are divided" and for good reason. My family is my primary ministry. On the other hand, Jesus himself says, "whoever doesn't hate...his family yes even his own life, cannot be my disciple". Which is more important, Jesus or my children? It is easy to answer this simplified question until the choice really starts coming into view.
What exactly is the cost of following Christ? Everything. Well what does that really mean and what does that look like, simply, without rationalizing and applying logic to everything? I am not sure. I don't know if I will ever be sure but one thing I do know is that my thoughts and possibly my experience living in the Middle East will bring me closer to an understanding of the implications of that very question.
Like the words of Jesus to his disciples, "ye of little faith", this is yet another reminder (read post Raising the dead?!?) where God tells me, "you think you have faith? it is just peanuts buddy. You are still in the minors son, but be encouraged because to see me do great things only requires faith the size of a mustard seed"
Do I really live for the Gospel? I have found that the most difficult part of the Christian life is not being willing to obey but rather knowing th appropriate way to do it. God give me both zeal and wisdom.
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