Trust....because you have to

Many times in my life I have wished that I had more faith, that I believed and trusted God more, yet, I find it funny that it is the times that God brings us to a place that we are uncomfortable and "forced" to trust him that we get the most frustrated with his plans.

Our time here in Guatemala is coming to an end this year (I think) and people are asking us about our plans. God has placed us in a place where we cannot decide our own future. The uncertainty finds us at every corner. Until just yesterday we were uncertain about travel to the US because our adoption with Anzo was not complete. Our big decisions about where to move after Guatemala cannot be made either. I need to purchase plane tickets from Reno to Guatemala returning to Reno today but the return date is difficult to me because we have no set plans of what to do once we are there. This may sound flaky or irresponsible but we have nothing else we can do. I am traveling to Jordan the 23 of May to the 7th of June. I will be looking at opportunities there. My hope is to be able to minister there with eMi for about a year but none of that can be decided until after the trip but I must purchase tickets before the trip.
The main question at hand is this, "Do I really trust him?" If so then why be afraid of people thinking I am irresponsible.

This is just one example of the uncertainty that God has clothed us with and I am starting to find these clothes comfortable. I am beginning to understand the comfort in ACTUALLY trusting God. Like Abram when told "Get up and go to the land that I tell you" I can start to understand this...literally, and I am feeling a new level of faith as we must "walk in faith". I am excited about the ride and letting God lead where he may. Many reading this may not understand. I don't think I could really put it all in words anyway. My encouragement to all (myself included) is that when God puts us in places where we are not in control I should rejoice in his sovereignty and not fear.

There is a prayer I heard a long time ago and I say quite often for myself that goes like this, "Lord look beyond my superficial prayers for a comfortable, trouble-free life and answer my deep-down heart desire to be like Jesus." and I cannot get mad at him for doing just that.