Hope...

I feel like I am back in 9th grade, looking at the girl that is way out of my league across the room in my second period history class that I have secretly had a crush on since the third grade. Should I hold back in fear or risk looking like a fool, go for it, and see what happens. Nervous and unsure I walk across the room to ask her out on a date and confess my longstanding feelings for her.

Unfortunately I will not get a response for a while and must wait in hope.

The thoughts of the possibility of pastoring at Lake Almanor Community Church is an excitement that consumes much of my thoughts. I know that it is still very unlikely but I cannot help but hope. So many hard things that have happened in the past would start to make sense. I have always been challenged by a song that questions if you are where you hoped you would be when you were a child. If I did get the position there, I think I would be exactly where I hoped I would be. I love the people, have family there, have spiritual ties there with Heather's baptism and discipleship, and we were married there.

Just a couple days ago I was talking with a friend about childhood dreams and when I was a small child my dream was to live in the mountains on a lake and be able to go to the restaurant and say "I'll have the usual". This vision also included a hawk, but I was only about 8 yrs old. This is also coupled with my desire to care for people, study the word, teach the word, and enable people for service to a hurting world.

I know this post sounds much more like a Junior Higher with a crush than my usual post, but sometimes hope does that to you. The nervous, unsure but joyful butterflies creep in and, like the young man in love, thoughts don't drift far. I know the work would be hard and the "honeymoon" period would end but on the other side of that, I know I would still love it.

To those fellow daydreamers out there, never stop hoping and dreaming even if they never are realized. So here my unpolished post. Here is to hoping and dreaming...