little angel wings...

Just a quick midnight thought...
Yesterday I was listening to Sara Groves sing about a little girl with angel wings on and encouraging her to "fly, fly, fly..." as her daughter got ready to sleep and dream, and I think of how dominated my schedule is with lesser important things than my family. I think of how much of a joy my children are to me, so much so that it brings me butterflies in my stomach of both love and concern for lack of a better expression. I also think of how sometimes I just,"want them out of the kitchen" or "just give me 5 more minutes of peace to finish this last piece of work on the computer" or "can't you guys go 5 minutes unsupervised without fighting" and I realize that many times the things we love the most are also the source of our greatest frustrations. I just want to live in light of the former instead of the latter, as to then take the frustrating moments as times to show a good example as the adult and both teach and learn in front of the kids in those difficult moments. More than anything I want them to feel loved. I want to jump on the trampoline with them, chase them around, snuggle them closely, tie on their angel wings while they are still young and cheer "fly, fly, fly..."

I just carried Abi from sleeping in our bed to hers. As I lifted her little body up and snuggled her as I walked down the hall I couldn't help but think about being 12 years down the road with her grown up and wishing I could go back to the days when she was young like this and love on her better, and for a moment I thought, "what if I am exactly that man having been granted his wish, what if God rolled back time, erased my memory and gave me this other chance with the only memory being, 'take advantage of the oppotrunities this time'" now I do not believe that is what happened but I think it is a healthy perspective and perhaps God is gracious enough to answer the prayers that he knows I will have 12 years from now, beforehand by impressing on me the dire need to express love and seek the important things of life for my children while I am still RIGHT HERE.

-Eric